Being Seen and Being Moved

Being Seen and Being Moved by: Andrea Olsen really struck a chord with me. Many times being I witness to a specific dance piece I have envisioned myself immolating the piece and/or simply being capable of mastering the movements. However many times when I take the dance floor it seems one my bare feet touch the wood=sprung floor my insecurities surface. I am no longer confident in my body’s ability and I become consumed by the need to look “aesthetically” pleasing in the eyes of others; whether I am in a technique class or on my own in the studio I find it very hard to go within myself and just perform. The times I do find inspiration and passion are sprinkled and mostly occur when my eyes are closed and I feel drowned out by the music, yet these occurrences are few and far between. More often than not I find myself comparing myself to others who have been professionally trained their whole life and I find there is no comparison. My turn out is poor, my posture is not fully erect, my overextended knees, and the list goes on. Paying attention to these flaws, I realize have had a bigger affect on my performance than I consciously am aware of.

Personally, I only received professional training up until my early teens and then school work and commuting prevented me from continuing on that path of expression. Seeing as I was not able to continue training I see myself and less of a dancer and have less trust in my abilities. It’s interesting because at home when I will family and need to help with something I am so uninhibited I perform just because I love to do so I have no restrictions. Just thinking about performing I get butterflies in my stomach and experience serious nausea, however once I am in the field with the audience I feel great and free. Nevertheless reaching this point only occurs if I catch a nod or something that is visibly supportive and ironically when I performance many times I am in a trance like state. I believe the key to great performance is truly finding solace with yourself and finding peace with your performance space; a feat that can only be accomplished through confidence in oneself and one’s ability.


Mona Quarless
Dance 0163