Stepping into Unknown- Cat 360

Rereading these chapters of McNiff's Trust the Process, was interesting. Now that I am creating with one main element I feel more direction while reading. The first time I read this, he jumped around so much from medium to medium, I never felt i solidly understood what he was talking about and I couldn't channel all of the ideas. This made it frustrating and a bit annoying when i started realizing he was saying the same thing in three different ways in hopes of reaching people one way or another. This time, I was able to focus on the information that was pertinent to me and "my process". McNiff addresses three problems I'm having as a beginning choreographer, and perhaps lighting designer. (I read this more in terms of choreographing, rather than designing; however I'm sure once I get into the thick of designing, these will apply.) These problems are struggling to come up with materials, what the movement style is, and the literalness of my concept.

From the beginning I felt like I was floundering in how to generate material, what my concept was, and how to convey that to the audience. Now I have a concept, however I am still having a difficult time generating material for the piece and connecting it with my concept. Mainly, I don't feel like I have a solid direction. Quite unsatisfyingly, McNiff answers this problem by saying, "The more intensely the students struggle, the more deeply they discover how the process will ultimately carry them to a new place." (p. 25) On one hand, this comment just irritates me more because I am under a time crunch and I cannot possibly see how my frustration will give way to a deep finished product in time. On the other hand, all I can do is say, "Ok. I'm struggling, and going under the assumption that this idea is for the most part right, I just need to keep pushing and see what happens. Hey, that's one aspect of my piece, right?" I suppose, while this doesn't offer me anything solution, it does provide me with minimal comfort.

My next problem is critiquing the material I make before I finish it. I keep thinking "This isn't edgy enough." or "This isn't very inventive," or my personal favorite, "If I do it like this, it'll be too classic modern." Thank you McNiff for telling me plainly that I need to acknowledge where I started in dance (p. 35). Now, hopefully I'll be able to make a phrase quickly and then reassess it after completing it. Hopefully, the "This is too classic modern" thoughts will evaporate while the base creation is taking place.

My last problem is dealing with the literalness of the choreography. On page 44 and 45, McNiff writes "... beginners who are so concerned with likeness that they cannot see how an artwork ultimately expresses itself through its material." I feel as if my problem is that I'm going backward from these beginners he is trying to help. I try to start abstract and then try to make it make sense. Then I feel like I am far to literal in conveying my message. I become torn between thinking that literalness really is terrible, and stopping to ask can literalness be interesting in its simplicity and still make people think? I feel as though McNiff is saying here that it is not something that a beginner should concern them self with, but then how does one ever convey their message if no one understands what's happening. Perhaps I'm coming from this bit of the reading from the wrong angle. If anyone reads this I feels compelled to enlighten me, please do. I will await your opinion with open ears and mind.